The Truth (Nothing Even Matters)

Does it really matter at all in the end? Who or what we did? Most things we can't and are afraid to share because we feel no one will understand.

I opened up my world today and as scary as the process was. It still didn't change the way I felt about Love. Maybe I have lived this life before hence my cool. All I know is no one has to go through life alone.

We all made mistakes. Some more grave than the other, some transient, some we will forever keep and hold onto for the fear that the ones we love will never forgive us. Guess as hard as we try we can't help but play God.

Do I really have the strength it takes or am I fooling myself to believe the idea of being with someone wholeheartedly is what everyone should aspire for. Guess therapy although might help is just another person's opinion of how things should be.

Never asked to be born into a life where self worth is measured by deeds of the past. Nonetheless here I am asking God to make me a better person so I can at least strive for the chance to make my not so great life utopic.

I would love to have a partner who I can understand my ways and decisions I made or making in my past and present life. Someone who won't push until I feel ready to open up.

Someone who will allow me to take my not so proud moments to the grave because sometimes I truly feel its only the Most High who understands. I have been quick to judge as a result of my own shallow experience in the past but for some years now I don't seem to care anymore.

Tell me your fantasy and I will share with you an experience that will make you question the dynamics of a simple relationship. Family, friends, colleagues are no different from you and I. We chose to share what we could so our expectations of each other won't be scarred by a future slip up.

Like Lauryn Hill said: Nothing even matters anymore. I know how I feel when it comes to you and that is what matters. They say I must be a fool for never letting go. I say I know what I want and what I want is you.

You to have and hold, to build and protect, to guide and nurse, to let go and persue until our Creator calls for my soul. It hurts to know all these things happened. But its who you are. Your beauty is more than skin deep.

So love me freely and not as the woman you think I would like you to be but as the woman you would like me to have. First in the eyes of God, second in the eyes of the woman in the mirror and third in the eyes of our unborn children.

For the day you muster the strength to stand tall through it all less the fear of your past, present and future. . .is the day I know we can love freely and make this union right in the eyes of God and the ones we care about the most.


Telly Morris
Monday, December 20, 2010 at 22:50HRS