Does it really matter at all in the end? Who or what we did? Most things we can't and are afraid to share because we feel no one will understand.
I opened up my world today and as scary as the process was. It still didn't change the way I felt about Love. Maybe I have lived this life before hence my cool. All I know is no one has to go through life alone.
We all made mistakes. Some more grave than the other, some transient, some we will forever keep and hold onto for the fear that the ones we love will never forgive us. Guess as hard as we try we can't help but play God.
Do I really have the strength it takes or am I fooling myself to believe the idea of being with someone wholeheartedly is what everyone should aspire for. Guess therapy although might help is just another person's opinion of how things should be.
Never asked to be born into a life where self worth is measured by deeds of the past. Nonetheless here I am asking God to make me a better person so I can at least strive for the chance to make my not so great life utopic.
I would love to have a partner who I can understand my ways and decisions I made or making in my past and present life. Someone who won't push until I feel ready to open up.
Someone who will allow me to take my not so proud moments to the grave because sometimes I truly feel its only the Most High who understands. I have been quick to judge as a result of my own shallow experience in the past but for some years now I don't seem to care anymore.
Tell me your fantasy and I will share with you an experience that will make you question the dynamics of a simple relationship. Family, friends, colleagues are no different from you and I. We chose to share what we could so our expectations of each other won't be scarred by a future slip up.
Like Lauryn Hill said: Nothing even matters anymore. I know how I feel when it comes to you and that is what matters. They say I must be a fool for never letting go. I say I know what I want and what I want is you.
You to have and hold, to build and protect, to guide and nurse, to let go and persue until our Creator calls for my soul. It hurts to know all these things happened. But its who you are. Your beauty is more than skin deep.
So love me freely and not as the woman you think I would like you to be but as the woman you would like me to have. First in the eyes of God, second in the eyes of the woman in the mirror and third in the eyes of our unborn children.
For the day you muster the strength to stand tall through it all less the fear of your past, present and future. . .is the day I know we can love freely and make this union right in the eyes of God and the ones we care about the most.
Telly Morris
Monday, December 20, 2010 at 22:50HRS
Monday 20 December 2010
Sunday 19 December 2010
The Silence
The Silence brings revelations of untold stories that might depending on your temperament push you to make that hard decision or simply leave you feeling helpless.
The Silence keeps my secrets and guards them till I allow love or the security of another to shatter it into oblivion. It is and always will be my worst adversary.
The Silence is . . . The molester, the adulterous partner, the whatever fear that stops you from wanting to believe in the power and gift of true friendship.
The Silence is that thought process you have when you wake up next to someone society says is your partner but your heart says trod on cos its the wisest choice given the circumstance: kids, power, money, the good life.
The Silence is wondering if you can make it through another month on your salary given the extent of debt you are buried in only so your partner and kids can have a ''normal'' life.
The Silence is telling yourself that a lost love will wake up and realise you were God's gift to them in this life although you won't give up your playa ways in finding satisfaction in another's arms.
The Silence is believing that a simple idea you have could change your world and the ones you love only if Life will grant you a Big Break.
The Silence is keeping that emotion in check with your best mate that you so utterly love because you are afraid the expression I Love You will change the dynamics of your whole relationship.
The Silence is knowing that although we are both married, what we feel for each other is real and for as long as its a secret the world doesn't have to know and the people we love won't get hurt.
The Silence is the soft tears rolling down my cheek because I chose a selfish path to find happiness and not live ''The Life'' just so I can be there for my little one.
The Silence is trying to replace the loss of a dear one with a pet only to scream and shout in the same manner as we would to that person we lost and never got a chance to say I Love You enough.
The Silence is always going to be all the everyday things that we box up in this clandestine world just so we can push to make the next a bit better even if it means hurting the ones we love the most.
Telly Morris
Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 20:20HRS
The Silence keeps my secrets and guards them till I allow love or the security of another to shatter it into oblivion. It is and always will be my worst adversary.
The Silence is . . . The molester, the adulterous partner, the whatever fear that stops you from wanting to believe in the power and gift of true friendship.
The Silence is that thought process you have when you wake up next to someone society says is your partner but your heart says trod on cos its the wisest choice given the circumstance: kids, power, money, the good life.
The Silence is wondering if you can make it through another month on your salary given the extent of debt you are buried in only so your partner and kids can have a ''normal'' life.
The Silence is telling yourself that a lost love will wake up and realise you were God's gift to them in this life although you won't give up your playa ways in finding satisfaction in another's arms.
The Silence is believing that a simple idea you have could change your world and the ones you love only if Life will grant you a Big Break.
The Silence is keeping that emotion in check with your best mate that you so utterly love because you are afraid the expression I Love You will change the dynamics of your whole relationship.
The Silence is knowing that although we are both married, what we feel for each other is real and for as long as its a secret the world doesn't have to know and the people we love won't get hurt.
The Silence is the soft tears rolling down my cheek because I chose a selfish path to find happiness and not live ''The Life'' just so I can be there for my little one.
The Silence is trying to replace the loss of a dear one with a pet only to scream and shout in the same manner as we would to that person we lost and never got a chance to say I Love You enough.
The Silence is always going to be all the everyday things that we box up in this clandestine world just so we can push to make the next a bit better even if it means hurting the ones we love the most.
Telly Morris
Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 20:20HRS
Tuesday 7 December 2010
A Day's Reflection
What gives some of us the strength to keep calm in the face of adversity? Heard a friend cry asking God; why?
Why does life have to be so cruel for some and so easy for others. Why should a single young black woman have to fend for her young all alone. Why do men of power only see the beauty in her reflection and not the sorrow within.
Wish there was a way I could extend my indifferent state of being to Her. Wish the next man would take a moment to reflect on the post mortem situation and not on the curves in her hips, the thickness between her thighs or the suppleness of her breast.
Some would say, Her life choices got Her here. I say we all make mistakes and sometimes honestly deserve a BREAK. A break from wondering if She needs to flirt with the next Made Man to ensure her son's school fees will be paid in full, and the little luxuries Her household enjoys do not fluctuate.
I struggle to comprehend how shallow most Men are. We manipulate our way into their lives knowing they are at our mercy. We come and go as we please leaving Her with nothing concrete.
A house which will never be a home. A vehicle which will never be Her car, and a Man who will never be her partner. What stops us from giving away what we have in excess to those we abuse physically and emotionally?
Our gift to Her would be that listening ear each time she is hurting as a result of her bad decisions, a warm hug that won't lead to any form of arousal, and ultimately an investment account that will mitigate the burden of responsibility she carries as a single working mother.
So before you undress her with your eyes the next time, take a moment and realise she is the pillar of strength to that young boy who might eventually become just like YOU.
Telly Morris
Sunday, December 5, 2010 at 00:10HRS
Why does life have to be so cruel for some and so easy for others. Why should a single young black woman have to fend for her young all alone. Why do men of power only see the beauty in her reflection and not the sorrow within.
Wish there was a way I could extend my indifferent state of being to Her. Wish the next man would take a moment to reflect on the post mortem situation and not on the curves in her hips, the thickness between her thighs or the suppleness of her breast.
Some would say, Her life choices got Her here. I say we all make mistakes and sometimes honestly deserve a BREAK. A break from wondering if She needs to flirt with the next Made Man to ensure her son's school fees will be paid in full, and the little luxuries Her household enjoys do not fluctuate.
I struggle to comprehend how shallow most Men are. We manipulate our way into their lives knowing they are at our mercy. We come and go as we please leaving Her with nothing concrete.
A house which will never be a home. A vehicle which will never be Her car, and a Man who will never be her partner. What stops us from giving away what we have in excess to those we abuse physically and emotionally?
Our gift to Her would be that listening ear each time she is hurting as a result of her bad decisions, a warm hug that won't lead to any form of arousal, and ultimately an investment account that will mitigate the burden of responsibility she carries as a single working mother.
So before you undress her with your eyes the next time, take a moment and realise she is the pillar of strength to that young boy who might eventually become just like YOU.
Telly Morris
Sunday, December 5, 2010 at 00:10HRS
Friday 26 November 2010
Be!
Be a star
Be a constellation
Be that spark guiding a lost soul through this universe
Be heavenly
Be the earth
Be the stratosphere
Be that source of nourishment for a new born soul
Be motherly
Be dark
Be hidden
Be that bridge to an untapped solidarity
Be golden
Be a slave
Be a fugitive
Be that hammer clouting against these clandestine shackles
Be emancipated
Be the sand
Be the keystone
Be that foundation upon which nations are built
Be indestructible
Be kosher
Be bona fide
Be that veritable source of energy in this secular world
Be veracious
Be. . .
Telly Morris
Saturday, November 6, 2010 at 22:23HRS
Be a constellation
Be that spark guiding a lost soul through this universe
Be heavenly
Be the earth
Be the stratosphere
Be that source of nourishment for a new born soul
Be motherly
Be dark
Be hidden
Be that bridge to an untapped solidarity
Be golden
Be a slave
Be a fugitive
Be that hammer clouting against these clandestine shackles
Be emancipated
Be the sand
Be the keystone
Be that foundation upon which nations are built
Be indestructible
Be kosher
Be bona fide
Be that veritable source of energy in this secular world
Be veracious
Be. . .
Telly Morris
Saturday, November 6, 2010 at 22:23HRS
Wednesday 3 November 2010
Acquisition
Isn't that what relationships are all about
Find an asset,
Build a business case
Devise a plan based on the asset's complexity
Execute in the hope things work out as planned
Amazingly we deny this process and tend to believe its love
Like any brand new toy
We dote excessively for the first few days
Maintain an intricate sense of attachment in following months
Then slowly we start paying less and less attention
Slowly we start noticing the manufacturing defects
The same defects that were clearly stated in the operational manual upon acquisition
In some situations we try and upgrade certain technicalities
Hoping to salvage whatever goodness is left
before it becomes like the next toy sitting gathering dust or passed on to some new owner
Some of you might relate to this approach when it comes to love
Why then do we feel guilty?
Why then do we promise to love forever?
I sit and watch this cycle repeat itself
and despite our profound knowledge and experience
We remain gullible to the idea of that emotion
An emotion
that only makes sense
when we truly let go.
Telly Morris
Wednesday, November 3, 2010 at 23:05HRS
Find an asset,
Build a business case
Devise a plan based on the asset's complexity
Execute in the hope things work out as planned
Amazingly we deny this process and tend to believe its love
Like any brand new toy
We dote excessively for the first few days
Maintain an intricate sense of attachment in following months
Then slowly we start paying less and less attention
Slowly we start noticing the manufacturing defects
The same defects that were clearly stated in the operational manual upon acquisition
In some situations we try and upgrade certain technicalities
Hoping to salvage whatever goodness is left
before it becomes like the next toy sitting gathering dust or passed on to some new owner
Some of you might relate to this approach when it comes to love
Why then do we feel guilty?
Why then do we promise to love forever?
I sit and watch this cycle repeat itself
and despite our profound knowledge and experience
We remain gullible to the idea of that emotion
An emotion
that only makes sense
when we truly let go.
Telly Morris
Wednesday, November 3, 2010 at 23:05HRS
Wednesday 27 October 2010
For a moment (Tribute to Sade)
For a moment make my soul sing
For a moment hang on to your love
For a moment experience maximum joy
For a moment be a princess in your new dress
For a moment bring out the best in me
For a moment I want you to want me
For a moment reminisce the thrill of a first kiss
For a moment don't pretend you are good at forgiving
For a moment be not that someone who broke my heart
For a moment have faith in the middle of the madness
For a moment brighten up my day with your sweet smile
For a moment reveal the war raging inside
For a moment let the whole world feel your heartbeat
For a moment acknowledge there is a force stronger than you
For a moment love me like I was your invention
For a moment don't waste your body and soul on anyone
For a moment be sweet as cherry pie and wild as friday night
For a moment be there to wipe away my tears
For a moment help them to have some future
For a moment don't want more than you have
For a moment have a bullet proof soul
Telly Morris
Wednesday, October 27, 2010 at 21:00HRS
For a moment hang on to your love
For a moment experience maximum joy
For a moment be a princess in your new dress
For a moment bring out the best in me
For a moment I want you to want me
For a moment reminisce the thrill of a first kiss
For a moment don't pretend you are good at forgiving
For a moment be not that someone who broke my heart
For a moment have faith in the middle of the madness
For a moment brighten up my day with your sweet smile
For a moment reveal the war raging inside
For a moment let the whole world feel your heartbeat
For a moment acknowledge there is a force stronger than you
For a moment love me like I was your invention
For a moment don't waste your body and soul on anyone
For a moment be sweet as cherry pie and wild as friday night
For a moment be there to wipe away my tears
For a moment help them to have some future
For a moment don't want more than you have
For a moment have a bullet proof soul
Telly Morris
Wednesday, October 27, 2010 at 21:00HRS
Monday 25 October 2010
How about . . .
How about we save a few cedis each month
how about we give back what we have in excess
How about we make promises we can keep
how about we show up when we say we will
How about we express our innermost desires
how about we take this step towards our future together
How about we do what we can when we can
how about we stop living a lie just to please society
How about we dedicate a few minutes to The Most each day
how about we encourage others to extend a supporting hand
How about we ask for clarity with things that baffle us
how about we don't base our actions on just perceptions
How about we realise emotions are simply emotions
how about we stop trying to make sense of it all
How about we never let go of people we fell in love with
how about we acknowledge the birth of life in death
How about we liberate ourselves from mental incarceration
how about we realise our human tapestry is enriched by our diversity
Telly Morris
Monday, October 25, 2010 at 23:57HRS
how about we give back what we have in excess
How about we make promises we can keep
how about we show up when we say we will
How about we express our innermost desires
how about we take this step towards our future together
How about we do what we can when we can
how about we stop living a lie just to please society
How about we dedicate a few minutes to The Most each day
how about we encourage others to extend a supporting hand
How about we ask for clarity with things that baffle us
how about we don't base our actions on just perceptions
How about we realise emotions are simply emotions
how about we stop trying to make sense of it all
How about we never let go of people we fell in love with
how about we acknowledge the birth of life in death
How about we liberate ourselves from mental incarceration
how about we realise our human tapestry is enriched by our diversity
Telly Morris
Monday, October 25, 2010 at 23:57HRS
Saturday 23 October 2010
Sometimes
Sometimes you don't realize what you've got
Until it all goes away
Sometimes you make a big mistake
Then realize the price you'll have to pay
Sometimes playing 'God' makes it all better
Knowing you will only bring hurt and pain
Sometimes you give up too soon
Cause you feel there will always be a second chance
Sometimes you've gotta just try
And learn the steps to life's sweet dance
Sometimes I just want to tell you
I want you back so bad
Sometimes I almost do tell you
Then I realize it would make everyone else mad
Sometimes I wonder why
I can't be happy with what's given to me
Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with love from another
But deep down inside I know we're really meant to be
Sometimes I begin to wonder
Just what it is I should do
Sometimes all I want
Is to be me sometimes
Telly Morris
Sunday, April 5, 2009 at 21:28HRS
Until it all goes away
Sometimes you make a big mistake
Then realize the price you'll have to pay
Sometimes playing 'God' makes it all better
Knowing you will only bring hurt and pain
Sometimes you give up too soon
Cause you feel there will always be a second chance
Sometimes you've gotta just try
And learn the steps to life's sweet dance
Sometimes I just want to tell you
I want you back so bad
Sometimes I almost do tell you
Then I realize it would make everyone else mad
Sometimes I wonder why
I can't be happy with what's given to me
Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with love from another
But deep down inside I know we're really meant to be
Sometimes I begin to wonder
Just what it is I should do
Sometimes all I want
Is to be me sometimes
Telly Morris
Sunday, April 5, 2009 at 21:28HRS
You are . . .
You inspire me and awaken me
and help me get through the day
You are . . . my inspiration
You are my first thought
My first breath of morning air
You are . . . my heartbeat
You are my most beautiful vision
You are in my heart
You are . . . me
You are my Ra
You complete me
You are . . . my life
Telly Morris
Saturday, May 29, 2010 at 19:03HRS
and help me get through the day
You are . . . my inspiration
You are my first thought
My first breath of morning air
You are . . . my heartbeat
You are my most beautiful vision
You are in my heart
You are . . . me
You are my Ra
You complete me
You are . . . my life
Telly Morris
Saturday, May 29, 2010 at 19:03HRS
Shattered
Confused,
I don't know what happened,
and I can't figure out what went wrong.
I wish I did so I could fix it.
Shattered dreams cross my mind,
and thoughts about you all the time.
Tragically our love is dying,
slowly and very painfully.
Memories confine my head.
Bitterly I face the end
As I think of how it could have been.
Trustingly I gave my heart and soul to you
And let you inside.
Now all I am left with is questions of "How?" and "Why?"
I remember falling in love,
I felt your pain and joy, your suffering and happiness.
I felt your love. I felt you.
Memories of you grip my mind.
I'm stranded here in nothingness and pain.
All I can do is think of you.
I can't seem to get you out of my head.
I lay here and everything replays in my mind.
Why can't I figure out what went wrong?
I'm holding on.
I can't accept my dreams are slowly fading.
I can't accept that my world is disappearing.
You made my world complete.
We truly fell in love and for the first time in my life
I knew what everything meant.
I miss holding you and you holding me.
I miss your touch.
I miss us.
Telly Morris
Wednesday, September 9, 2009 at 22:22HRS
I don't know what happened,
and I can't figure out what went wrong.
I wish I did so I could fix it.
Shattered dreams cross my mind,
and thoughts about you all the time.
Tragically our love is dying,
slowly and very painfully.
Memories confine my head.
Bitterly I face the end
As I think of how it could have been.
Trustingly I gave my heart and soul to you
And let you inside.
Now all I am left with is questions of "How?" and "Why?"
I remember falling in love,
I felt your pain and joy, your suffering and happiness.
I felt your love. I felt you.
Memories of you grip my mind.
I'm stranded here in nothingness and pain.
All I can do is think of you.
I can't seem to get you out of my head.
I lay here and everything replays in my mind.
Why can't I figure out what went wrong?
I'm holding on.
I can't accept my dreams are slowly fading.
I can't accept that my world is disappearing.
You made my world complete.
We truly fell in love and for the first time in my life
I knew what everything meant.
I miss holding you and you holding me.
I miss your touch.
I miss us.
Telly Morris
Wednesday, September 9, 2009 at 22:22HRS
Next Lifetime . . .
I find myself asking a lot of Whys lately
Why are dreams so distant and hardships so real
Why does love chase away friendship
Why can't people realize being honest heals hurt
Maybe its all so sudden as a result of this emotional vortex
We pretend with people who care about us
and overextend ourselves with those who don't matter
Logic replaces the beat of the heart
The need to feel loved, the essence of our being
Maybe our mortality is our worst enemy
They decipher your needs and wants with little effort
Willingly we sign away free will for money, sex and power
Doubt they had to push, mind games are only truly existent in their world
God always looks out for his own and plans seem to shatter when things reconcile
Friendships fade, status flees, power now feels so distant
Disease looms as we now try to trade wealth for laughter and the comfort of a hug
Why not give up mind games for a taste of what could have been
Unborn children, soul mates, a friend you can count on . . .
Transitory memories of a past life haunt and remind me of life's great pleasures
Damned if I do, damned if I don't. My bionic state of being guides my ship on autopilot
Lessons can't be shared as I feel no one understands this data repository
Encryptions to the nth power have no valid keys
For the best appreciation I can show to God for this Life is in the next. .
Telly Morris
Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 22:34HRS
Why are dreams so distant and hardships so real
Why does love chase away friendship
Why can't people realize being honest heals hurt
Maybe its all so sudden as a result of this emotional vortex
We pretend with people who care about us
and overextend ourselves with those who don't matter
Logic replaces the beat of the heart
The need to feel loved, the essence of our being
Maybe our mortality is our worst enemy
They decipher your needs and wants with little effort
Willingly we sign away free will for money, sex and power
Doubt they had to push, mind games are only truly existent in their world
God always looks out for his own and plans seem to shatter when things reconcile
Friendships fade, status flees, power now feels so distant
Disease looms as we now try to trade wealth for laughter and the comfort of a hug
Why not give up mind games for a taste of what could have been
Unborn children, soul mates, a friend you can count on . . .
Transitory memories of a past life haunt and remind me of life's great pleasures
Damned if I do, damned if I don't. My bionic state of being guides my ship on autopilot
Lessons can't be shared as I feel no one understands this data repository
Encryptions to the nth power have no valid keys
For the best appreciation I can show to God for this Life is in the next. .
Telly Morris
Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 22:34HRS
Maybe
Maybe I am not broken or damaged inside
maybe its just all in my head
Maybe I was meant for a different place in time
maybe I was meant to live someone else's life
Maybe this friendship is bound by love
maybe the pain I feel is a reminder that you will leave
Maybe my words could have made you stay
maybe honesty does our kind unjust
Maybe the fear of being trapped reveals our vulnerability
maybe our only fear is losing control
Maybe I am starting to miss you a bit more each day
maybe it might be that I am in love with you
Maybe my lips should have never touched your skin
maybe your hips wouldn't have had to carry this child
Maybe I could show you how I feel inside
maybe I hold back because you are afraid to find out
Maybe by letting go you will have nothing to gain
maybe by holding on you will bring so much pain
Maybe you don't want to know much
maybe you forgot how to trust
Maybe I will end up alone in this life
maybe I will be reminiscing what could have been
Telly Morris
Wednesday, October 20, 2010 at 21:27HRS
maybe its just all in my head
Maybe I was meant for a different place in time
maybe I was meant to live someone else's life
Maybe this friendship is bound by love
maybe the pain I feel is a reminder that you will leave
Maybe my words could have made you stay
maybe honesty does our kind unjust
Maybe the fear of being trapped reveals our vulnerability
maybe our only fear is losing control
Maybe I am starting to miss you a bit more each day
maybe it might be that I am in love with you
Maybe my lips should have never touched your skin
maybe your hips wouldn't have had to carry this child
Maybe I could show you how I feel inside
maybe I hold back because you are afraid to find out
Maybe by letting go you will have nothing to gain
maybe by holding on you will bring so much pain
Maybe you don't want to know much
maybe you forgot how to trust
Maybe I will end up alone in this life
maybe I will be reminiscing what could have been
Telly Morris
Wednesday, October 20, 2010 at 21:27HRS
Letting Go
How do I let go of something I am yet to experience
An emotion that seems to engulf every aspect of my simple everyday thoughts. I live a lie to protect the ones I love. Is this emotion truly a measure of how great I am feeling or is it simply my fear of not wanting another great friendship to be scarred by society's perception of what LOVE is.
Whatever the situation or outcome, I would like to let you know I have found in you a soul mate, a trusted friend, a woman I can truly be myself with. I always play with the thoughts of what if. What if I could simply say I love you each time we spoke . . .
Some seem to think what we have is ephemeral given the distance and our network of friends. . . Don't know how to express my thoughts with words that would properly convey the many desires I long for when a thought of you crosses my mind.
Maybe its purely physical, maybe its not. Maybe its your meticulous nature, maybe its the distance, that makes the idea of us being together so explosive. Maybe its how you support your family, maybe its your thought process given your age. I struggle with simple maybe's so not to upset the chemistry of what we have decided to call Friendship.
So how do I let you know. . . I want you but at the same time also let you know, I would learn to let go should you find love in another. How do I knowingly let you get hurt, only to make sure love doesn't blind the reality of what true relationships are about. How then do I not push and conquer this undying presence of you in my life? The silence, the so called busy days at work, the weddings and funerals I have attended were not always real but an excuse to keep my heart caged and devoid of emotion.
Yet I still ask myself how I managed to let you slip in and get so close. You are far from perfect and that makes me know the idea of us is not just a figment of my imagination. I might continue to love you, I might give up hope and hurt you in the process, I might flirt to confirm reciprocity. . . Maybe you feel the same and well maybe its all just maybe. No matter the maybe's I am satisfied with ONE fundamental emotion. Our friendship.
I seem to always find a way of complicating simple things . . . So before I do, I want You to be You not because it makes me happier and especially not because you feel there is no one other than me who understands you the way I do. Not looking for answers anymore. I just want to let go and feel. . . So know you have a friend who will sacrifice the need to conform for a need higher than his own.
Telly Morris
Saturday, October 16, 2010 at 22:46HRS
An emotion that seems to engulf every aspect of my simple everyday thoughts. I live a lie to protect the ones I love. Is this emotion truly a measure of how great I am feeling or is it simply my fear of not wanting another great friendship to be scarred by society's perception of what LOVE is.
Whatever the situation or outcome, I would like to let you know I have found in you a soul mate, a trusted friend, a woman I can truly be myself with. I always play with the thoughts of what if. What if I could simply say I love you each time we spoke . . .
Some seem to think what we have is ephemeral given the distance and our network of friends. . . Don't know how to express my thoughts with words that would properly convey the many desires I long for when a thought of you crosses my mind.
Maybe its purely physical, maybe its not. Maybe its your meticulous nature, maybe its the distance, that makes the idea of us being together so explosive. Maybe its how you support your family, maybe its your thought process given your age. I struggle with simple maybe's so not to upset the chemistry of what we have decided to call Friendship.
So how do I let you know. . . I want you but at the same time also let you know, I would learn to let go should you find love in another. How do I knowingly let you get hurt, only to make sure love doesn't blind the reality of what true relationships are about. How then do I not push and conquer this undying presence of you in my life? The silence, the so called busy days at work, the weddings and funerals I have attended were not always real but an excuse to keep my heart caged and devoid of emotion.
Yet I still ask myself how I managed to let you slip in and get so close. You are far from perfect and that makes me know the idea of us is not just a figment of my imagination. I might continue to love you, I might give up hope and hurt you in the process, I might flirt to confirm reciprocity. . . Maybe you feel the same and well maybe its all just maybe. No matter the maybe's I am satisfied with ONE fundamental emotion. Our friendship.
I seem to always find a way of complicating simple things . . . So before I do, I want You to be You not because it makes me happier and especially not because you feel there is no one other than me who understands you the way I do. Not looking for answers anymore. I just want to let go and feel. . . So know you have a friend who will sacrifice the need to conform for a need higher than his own.
Telly Morris
Saturday, October 16, 2010 at 22:46HRS
Find Your Way
I find myself here again. . .
Asking myself questions I already have answers to
Why isn't my present filled with thoughts of you
Why am I not the one expressing my affection publicly
I have tried in several ways to Let Go mentally
The occasional silence with regards to communication
Most replacements either objects or human fade rapidly
Question still remains, how did you find your way
How can a simple friendship feel so intense
Is it the lack of intimacy or the craving there of
I find myself wanting you more with each suppression attempt
Wish KEM never composed this tribute to you
Do I accept this as an emotion I can't fight?
Someone please decipher this labyrinth
I long to have your brown skin against mine
Your beads of sweat trickling all over my sheets
So I am leaving to a world where all this can be true
A world where we can express our innermost fears
A world where I can love you uninhibitedly
A world where you can find your way
Telly Morris
Saturday, October 23, 2010 at 01:45HRS
Asking myself questions I already have answers to
Why isn't my present filled with thoughts of you
Why am I not the one expressing my affection publicly
I have tried in several ways to Let Go mentally
The occasional silence with regards to communication
Most replacements either objects or human fade rapidly
Question still remains, how did you find your way
How can a simple friendship feel so intense
Is it the lack of intimacy or the craving there of
I find myself wanting you more with each suppression attempt
Wish KEM never composed this tribute to you
Do I accept this as an emotion I can't fight?
Someone please decipher this labyrinth
I long to have your brown skin against mine
Your beads of sweat trickling all over my sheets
So I am leaving to a world where all this can be true
A world where we can express our innermost fears
A world where I can love you uninhibitedly
A world where you can find your way
Telly Morris
Saturday, October 23, 2010 at 01:45HRS
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)